On Getting Older: A Series: Contemplating My Being A Millennial

The other day someone asked me whether or not I liked being part of the Millennial generation. I have been thinking about this for a while and the truth is, now that I am turning 35 I am not really sure how I feel about that question. First let me just say how timely the question came, since I have been writing about this series regarding getting older. I thought why not tackle that as well since understanding my generation is an important part of looking at my adulthood.

What I know about the concept of “Millennial”

Defining a generation is a social construct, whose importance relies in understanding how a certain age group would act in the world. Now that Millennials like me are getting older, studying how we think and move as a generation is important since it gauges how we think politically, our buying choices, how we repopulate, etc.

The name as I have learned simply relates to how we are the generation that comes of age at the turn of the millennium. One of the first things that one learns is that there isn’t seem to be a definite year where this generation of mine begins. For now, I’m calling this the “starting point dilemma” which I will further explain as you read along.  Some sources say that the first batch of Millennials were born as early as 1979, while some rounds it off at 1980, but many suggests that actually the starting batch is 1982.

In my case, there is no denying, that by virtue of year, born in 1984, I definitely shoot within its parameters. If this was all there is, then that settles it. Since I am definitely one, whether I feel okay being part of it is irrelevant. But it isn’t really that simple, because surely the complexities of a generation is not just set on the timeline that they were born in, is it?

We Millennials are defined most of all as the generation that grew-up with the internet, the revolutionary connectivity of Social Media, and the interpersonal relationships forged within computer mediated communication. I wouldn’t really say that we are digital natives like Gen Z’s who were born in a time when the internet has fully ingrained itself in daily life, but my generation technically grew up with it.

I still have memories of life in the analog, where TV was still king, when MTV was still somewhat relevant, and landlines were crucial. But I also remember how we all gradually moved into the digital world. For someone like me who studied Mass Communication, perhaps the biggest and most fascinating change for me is how the source of information shifted from those who have the ability to frame issues through major mediums like Newspapers/Radio/TV, to the masses, its once audience found a way to make their own content, share it with each other to the point that we ourselves become the new “newsmakers”.  

Here lies the problem…

The idea alone that someone raises the question of whether or not you liked being part of your generation is quite weird if you asked me. But it seems that while me and the rest of my batchmates were aging, we have sort of developed a bad rap for ourselves.

There is an actual study thatsays most resist the label of Millennials. Perhaps partly because of the assessment of older and previous other generations of us, including the viral video of the guy who described our work ethics to be somewhat egotistical, impatient, and whinny. This I can pass up, since I feel it’s normal for older people to judge their successors, in comparison to them.

But what is interesting with the study is that Millennials themselves consider each other with these negative characteristics, giving lower scores in considering patriotism, hard work, compassion, self-reliance, morality, etc as compared to GenXers and Baby Boomers. So not only does the previous generations think we’re immature quitters, we ourselves think very lowly of ourselves, which kind of adds weight as to why Millennials have been given a notorious reputation.  

The Cop-out

Remember what I said about the starting point dilemma? Since there is a somewhat negative idea surrounding millennials, some who were born in the fringes of 1979-82 can argue that perhaps they aren’t Millennials and are in fact members of the previous Gen X.  And for someone like me who is somewhat close to the entrance, or in some sense has still one foot out the door, is finding a bridge in the concept of a Xennial – a somewhat hybrid of both generations.  

A fellow Diplowife explains in her blog, that such middle-grounds are not an excuse because just because you don’t like the idea of belonging to the generation you were born in, doesn’t mean you can deny being one, and create your own little niche generation. She also explains that perhaps such people are outliers, or exemptions, as with everything else there are such. And perhaps she is right, that you can’t just choose what generation you are born in, just as you can’t choose your race, or your family.

Like I said there is no denying that by virtue of my year of birth I am fully a Millennial. My husband on the other hand who was born two years earlier, is greatly affected by the starting-point dilemma. Despite being born in 1982, he identifies himself as part of the last Gen X-ers, and to his credit very much sticks to the characteristics entailed to the previous generation.

For example, he only engages in Social Media when necessary, in fact if he can avoid technology or any digital transaction, he will choose to do so, which he is finding harder and harder to do as time passes since most things are either automated or entails online services nowadays. For him the internet is a source of information; but he hates being connected and that he can be reached anytime of the day or anywhere in the world. But most crucial of all is that he is very much stuck in a perpetual grunge phase, a bit more laid-back in his responsibilities, nonchalant, and nihilistic in his principles. For him there is no greater course to pursue, rather than embodying the “Generation Me” attitude, for him nobody cares that you are feeling #blessed.  

Another good point another friend has made is that those who resist the label, are those who doesn’t fully understand what it means, or as I understood what she said are those who refuse to look beyond the surface. That we are more than our selfies and IG stories, that our passions and concerns, extend beyond social media, and those that reject the label are the same people who take themselves far too seriously, but in reality, projecting their frustrations towards attitudes that they know deep inside they possess as well.

https://www.shufflrr.com/2016/11/how-baby-boomers-gen-xers-and-millennials-respond-to-technology-and-style/

And then there’s me…

But if I have to be honest, I have an inkling towards the “Xennial” thing, because while I cannot claim to be affected by the starting-point-dilemma, I was raised around the time of the GenXers, and remnants of its principles have sprinkled themselves at the edges of my psyche. And its not because I don’t fully understand what it means to be a Millennial.

I know that my generation are go-getters, focused, open-minded, independent, fearless, dreamers, and idealistic. Some part of me desperately wants to feel fully Millennial because from the outside looking in, they all seem so together in whatever endeavor they are engaged in. The ambitious drive that pushes them to strive for the best, even if they seem callous or selfish to the greater needs of those around them. It helps them move forward, unafraid to say no, but never accepting it for an answer either. If at least in the context of their online profiles, their lives seem so full and hectic, jacks of all trades, jugglers of several life roles.

I wish I am all those things as well, but alas, I don’t think I am. Since this is a series that looks into how I see myself now that I am older, I think I am comfortable in saying that even as a child, I have always been someone who just goes with the flow of things. Maybe in my younger years I have been more vocal about certain issues that feels unethical or socially flawed, except for ranting about it, I have never really acted on these feelings. I am unlike most millennials nowadays who go out of their way to be part of something they are passionate about, never mind if doesn’t have a stable career path, as long as they believe in what they are doing, especially those who go into fields that respond to problems like climate change, poverty, and changing long standing issues like gender inequality.   

As far as Social Media is concerned, in its early days I too was eager to share my thoughts and unfiltered opinions. But as I age I find myself hesitant to fully emerge myself into it, to share my life fully to its applications, to the point where I post my personal problems, finding affirmation in emojis as response, summarizing my point in a hashtag. #justsaying #feelingconfused #sorrynotsorry #sorryreallysorry. I try to sometimes, I admit I can no longer last a day without checking in my feed, but actively participating is I did, years ago, has somewhat lost its appeal.

So how do I feel about it?
   

This post has probably taken me two months to write, since I really cannot decide how I feel about my generation. But I think I’m going to go with this one particular opinion I got gathering among friends, which was that it’s a matter of perspective. A wise friend states that to him, such matters are irrelevant, that in this day and age there are still many who live below poverty line, between that time and now measles made a come-back in our country, the information technology revolution has both connected people but divided our beliefs by giving us an unguided platform to air out our grievances no matter how baseless some are. And I think he’s right, somewhere out there in this big world is another 35-year-old who has no time to think about being a Millennial.  A mother of twins trying to get ends meet, a refugee, a cancer patient. I have the luxury to think about it, but I realize that for some that isn’t the case.

I am no doubt born with the Millennial batch, I understand that there are good things about us, and certainly not-so good ones, we are connected by the internet, but divided by the filters and somewhat anonymity the technology provides, here and now as an adult, I am not all those things, but I am also more, as for the answer I think I’m just going to leave it at that.