Locked-Out, Old Blog Homage, and New Beginnings

I think its important for me to explain this…

Actually, I have been blogging for almost ten years now. If you count my other failed attempts as a young aspiring writer, who was riding the wave of the creation of blogs, even longer. But the one I stuck with was the one I started after I got married.

JG, my husband, by then has been in the Foreign Service for about two years and was about to be deployed in his first posting assignment in Tripoli. As for me, my life as a diplomatic trailing spouse was about to begin, so I decided a new blog would be the perfect companion in this new adventure I was about to pursue.

I remember making it clearly, sitting at my old cubicle in the office of the job that I was getting ready to resign from. It was different from the old blog I used to have, this time it wasn’t just going to be the ramblings of a young-adult, full of ideals, bursting with confidence. This time there was a general theme, one that embraced my new role in life.

I named it Diplomatic Baggage, after this great book I read by Brigid Keenan. She too was a diplomatic trailing spouse. I loved the book, because Ms. Keenan was both a hot mess and a bit crazy, but she was really funny, and her stories as a diplomat’s wife was told with, for me, a lot of heart, and an interesting perspective.

A named the blog after her book, because I told myself that this was the kind of theme and tone, I wanted mine to be. I wanted it to be filled with stories of experiences in the places JG and I would go, with the same kind of sincere, fun, often crazy, perspective Ms. Keenan did with hers.

It worked for the first few months, I was even reviewed by the Foreign Service Journal in their article on Diplomatic blogs, they said my stories as a young newly-wed in her first posting was funny. Although looking back, I think they thought I was an American.

Even when things got serious in Libya, by serious I meant, Arab Spring kind of serious, and we had to flee to Djerba, I still tried to stick to the that tone that I set out to do.

Years went on, and we transferred to Muscat for four years, which was a great experience for me, went back home, and is now in Budapest for our third post. I wasn’t the most prolific, and worst was inconsistent with my posts, but the blog became my constant companion, now and then, when time and inspiration stroked, the blog was there.

There were days when you take it for granted, after all, I wasn’t the only blogging Diplowife, as I called myself out there. But there were a few times when it became dear, and I can remember a few instances when that became apparent to me.

There was of course during the Arab Spring in Libya, and the five months I had to stay home while JG stayed back for his work. It gave me a way to debrief myself in all the crazy, unbelievable things I was experiencing within this pivotal time in the country’s history which in some perspective was so much bigger than me. It was also a way for me to let friends and family know who things went down. But most of all, it was great to write on it, to say that we have passed that phase, and is ready for the next post.

Another time, was just recently, I wrote about my paper studying the concept of a trailing spouse, and while I was interviewing friends like me, I said something along the lines of the blog being the tangible testament of who I’ve become over the years, and as I said it, I realized that it was true.

Lastly, there was this one moment when we were still in Muscat, JG calls me one day and tells me that the blog was blocked by my platform provider, citing some censorship concern it was, if I remember correctly. I panicked at the thought that my beloved writing companion was shut down over a misunderstanding, so I had to write them and clear things up.

Which leads me to what had happened. Part of the thing that I decided about the blog of mine was that whatever happens, it will remain a personal site I use for me, like a public journal of some sorts. It did relatively well in terms of traffic and considering my background in terms of education and work experience, I had the know-how to make the blog more popular, like SEO techniques, or making it more commercialized. I refused to buy my own domain, because I like thinking that the features of a free platform, gave it even less weight in terms of something whose up-keep I had to manage.

I thought, it wouldn’t be the same once it turns into a responsibility, or something I can make money out of. I was happy with one or two people reading it, even happier when someone would write a comment or “like” a post. It was my dear friend, the witness to my life as the Diplowife/Trailing Spouse, in some ways, I had thought that long after I’m gone, it will be the small digital footprint of my existence.

Because I regarded as a personal thing, I dispensed of all other things that I thought were minuscule details. Like updating my email account, and learning about initial URL codes, or personal authentication numbers provided by the platform. I only changed my password once in the entire nine years.

So some two days ago, in my usual long and dragging process, after agonizing over a blog post, I was ready to post a new entry, when my password of eight years, was rejected. After some internal panic, which eventually evolved into a full demonstrative kind, tears, and JG getting involved himself; I learned that there was some sort of “forced password reset”.

The problem was that I could no longer access the email address I had used for the blog, so getting the reset link was impossible. I do not want to get into it any more, but suffice to say, after some exchange of tweets and emails to my platform provider, explaining my situation, trying to prove that I was in fact the author of such blog, they politely said, that for security reasons, unless I provide the URL codes, or whatever, I was welcome to create a new blog.

And so here I am locked out of my beloved blog of ten years, my constant companion, the proof my existence as a trailing spouse.

I do admit that it is entirely my fault, and that in some ways there is a way for me to solve this and get back in. But I in a philosophical sense, outside of the technicalities, and digital security concerns, it was frustrating that all my memories, and shared experiences, are now kept from me, just because I kept the same password for some years, and just because, I was complacent that the blog was always, as it always has been there for me when I needed it.

So I decided, that rather than trying to explain myself to some girl named Kris from Support, who promptly calls herself a “Happiness Engineer”,I decided to might as well start over. I was actually planning a whole series on the 10^th anniversary of the blog, but now I guess it has turned into an inauguration into a new chapter. I thought about it, and perhaps ten years is a good time for some changes. It’s a nice round number, a solid amount of time to learn things, and start something new.

I have to address the fact that the decision to change platforms is I think for the best. Admittedly, the old one has better features, and after ten years, I have gotten used to it. But its hard for me to support an organization that I felt failed to give me the kind of "support" that I needed – as ironic as it sounds that their department is actually called the Support team. This new one probably has the same protocols, and I am much wiser now, so I don’t really hold it against the old one that much. I understand that they have their reasons for all this password changes, etc.; so I digress.

There is a little sadness of the posts that I have left behind, it feels like moving into a new house but leaving all your beloved stuff back in the old one. But as JG said, while he comforted me in my crying phase after getting locked out, “nandyan lang naman yun” he says, and he was right, it will always be there. Maybe one day I can open it again, or maybe not, but as long as it’s there, I'm okay with that.

But for now, here I am in my new home, hoping to start fresh, hoping this time, it will be the same somewhat light-hearted, text-heavy, straight from the gut, but better.

If you are new to my blog, Hi! If you followed the old one, I’m glad you visited. Whatever the case, thanks for taking time to read my blog.

Hi to new readers, welcome to my new home to old followers, thanks for visiting. 

(You can still check out the old one if you like, it’s at www.diplowife.wordpress.com. If you like what you see and wish to hear some more from me, follow me here, from here on out, Salamat!)